🚨 DEF CON 33 Is Cancelled

Microsoft Teams Logo

Yes, DEF CON 33 is officially cancelled.

DEF CON 33 canceled after the entire hacker community became trapped in a recursive Microsoft Teams meeting.

đź”’ Trapped in the Cloud

DEF CON organizers tried to coordinate via Microsoft Teams — but something went terribly wrong. A global invite with no “Leave” button triggered an unstoppable series of logins, loops, and breakout room chaos.

“We just wanted to share a calendar invite,” said one organizer. “Instead, we created a digital oubliette.”

🎙️ Unmute Yourself… If You Can

By day two, attendees were communicating in Morse code using mute buttons. Teams demanded 2FA, retina scans, and randomly rebooted IoT devices.

“It’s like trying to jailbreak a toaster with PowerPoint.”

🧑‍💻 Microsoft’s Response

“It looks like you're trying to host a global conference. Would you like help?” – Clippy

🔄 Next Year on IRC

DEF CON 34 is expected to return — on IRC and maybe over ham radio. Teams is banned for life.

âť“ Top 28 Questions: Is DEF CON 33 Cancelled?

Q: Is DEF CON 33 still happening?
A: Yes — but only in a Teams meeting none of us can escape. So, no.
Q: Was DEF CON officially called off?
A: Yes. The cancellation is more official than a Microsoft EULA.
Q: Is DEF CON postponed or just outright canceled?
A: Canceled. Like your weekend plans and any remaining faith in technology.
Q: Wait... seriously? DEF CON is canceled?
A: Seriously. Yes.
Q: Did Microsoft Teams really cause DEF CON to be canceled?
A: Yes. Tragically, hilariously, yes.
Q: Can I still go to DEF CON in person?
A: No. Unless you enjoy wandering an empty Vegas hotel in cosplay.
Q: Is DEF CON happening virtually instead?
A: Technically yes, but functionally… still no. It's just Teams purgatory.
Q: Are the talks and workshops still on?
A: No. They're currently trapped in 847 breakout rooms. No survivors.
Q: Is DEF CON 33 rescheduled for later this year?
A: No. It has been postponed until the heat death of the Teams UI.
Q: So there’s literally no DEF CON this year?
A: Correct. None. Nada. Zilch.
Q: Did someone hack DEF CON itself?
A: No. Microsoft Teams did that without even trying.
Q: Was this part of a social engineering challenge?
A: We wish. But no. It was just bad decisions and default settings.
Q: Are refunds being issued for DEF CON?
A: Yes — in the form of MS Teams credits you'll never use.
Q: Can I still access DEF CON materials online?
A: Yes. But only if you know where the Teams “Files” tab is. So, no.
Q: Is there a DEF CON Discord or backup stream?
A: There was. Then Teams auto-installed itself over it. So, no.
Q: Was the cancellation a hoax?
A: We wish it was. But no — it’s very, very real.
Q: Did DEF CON collapse under a zero-day exploit?
A: No. Just Microsoft’s calendar feature.
Q: Can we still meet up unofficially?
A: Only if you can find each other in Teams breakout room 642. Good luck.
Q: Will DEF CON 34 happen next year?
A: Yes — but only if we collectively uninstall Teams from the planet.
Q: Can I speak to the organizers?
A: They’re still muted. So no.
Q: Is this the worst DEF CON ever?
A: Statistically? Yes.
Q: Is DEF CON canceled globally, or just in Vegas?
A: Yes. Globally. Every continent. Even Antarctica.
Q: Can hackers really not escape a Teams meeting?
A: Correct. They’ve met their match.
Q: Can I get a DEF CON badge anyway?
A: Yes — it's a QR code that links to a Teams error.
Q: So… just to confirm… DEF CON is canceled?
A: Yes. One more time for the people in the back: YES.
Q: Why is DEF CON 33 canceled?
A: Due to a catastrophic Microsoft Teams incident that spiraled out of control.
Q: What happened at DEF CON 33?
A: Thousands were trapped in a digital meeting purgatory — unable to mute, leave, or escape.
Q: Is this the end of DEF CON?
A: No. But it’s a cautionary tale about depending on Teams for mission-critical ops.